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Tuesday Quip: Mom Tries Hard but “Dad is Great”

September 26th, 2012 | Posted by Kerry Lyons in Laughter and Disaster | MaMa Moments | motherhood | parenthood | parenting | Tips and Quips | triplets - (1 Comments)

It’s only Tuesday and already it’s been a long week.  The kids are still struggling to get in the back to school routine and, well, I am too. It’s exhausting!  Each day starts with dragging them out of bed, forcing them to make those beds and then rather unceremoniously shoving them out the door to the bus.  Each day ends in a frenzy of “Did you do your homework? No, you can’t play the Wii. Why didn’t you eat your lunch? Where is your library book?!” And so on until we shove them back into those nicely made beds.

I decided tonight would be different.  My husband had to stay in the city for a work-related event and I decided to make a concerted effort to be the kind, patient, supportive Mom I want to be rather then the tired, cranky, nagging Mom I often am.  I have to say, it kind of worked.  Not in a gold star kind of a way but in a “greatly improved” kind of a way.

After a quick dinner of “dinner eggs” (see, I told you there would be no gold star!), I ushered my four youngest kids out to the yard so I could have some quality time with my third-grader — the one who is most often on the receiving end of my bedtime barrage of questions.  Instead my typical yelling and accusing as I dash to and fro with pajamas and toothbrushes in hand, I sat down and I listened.  And he talked.  And he told me why sometimes it’s hard to finish all his homework.  And he told me what he would like to eat for lunch.  And it was all very reasonable. And we both felt good.

I then called in the little ones and asked my big guy to curl up with a book while I got them ready for bed.  We actually had fun as we put on PJs, brushed teeth and picked out a story. Separating “big” from “little” worked like a charm. Everyone felt like they got a piece of this tired, stressed-out Mama – and apparently, they like that!

Then I looked at the book they chose.  Want to know what it was?  It was called “Dad is Great.”  I kid you not.  I don’t how or when that propaganda landed on the bookshelf but boy, did it ever burst my bubble!  I mean, of course, their Dad is great but really, do we need to dwell on it tonight of all nights?  Tonight would have been a good night to read “MOM is Great,” is such a book exists.  If not, I’ve changed my mind.  I want that gold star!

Wednesday Whine: Enough with the forms already!

September 19th, 2012 | Posted by Kerry Lyons in MaMa Moments | motherhood | parenting | Tips and Quips - (0 Comments)

Filling out school forms: painful!

As you know if you are a regular reader, I typically write a “Tuesday Tip.”  People tend to marvel at the way we seemingly breeze through life with our brood of five children and have asked that I share the things that work for us – snack ideas, vacation spots, general discipline tips, etc. – and so I do.  Here’s the thing though – it’s not always a breeze.  In fact, it rarely is.

When the clock struck midnight last night, I was still filling out school forms and realized that I’d literally timed myself out of my typical Tuesday tip.  I thought perhaps I’d share a nugget of “Wednesday wisdom”  but, I fear what you’re going to get here instead is a massive dose of “Wednesday whining.”

At the moment, I’m tapped out of tips. I’m tired. Exhausted, in fact. Ever since summer came to an abrupt close and the school year started, I’ve felt like a rat on a wheel.  Everything in our life seems to be stuck in high gear, in the fast lane.  My job, always fast-paced and challenging, has picked up in intensity.  Our two older kids, now officially first and third graders, are adjusting to a busy school year as we all struggle to get in the groove of wake up/school bus/ homework/ CCD/soccer /wash/rinse/repeat. It’s a never-ending circuit with backpacks, folders and soccer cleats constantly caught in the spin cycle.

Then there are the triplets. Almost four (how did that ever happen so fast?!), they are gearing up for preschool.  Hence the forms I was filling out late last night.  When did they first walk/talk/sit/stand/crawl?  I honestly don’t have a clue.  I was going to make it up but didn’t have the energy.  So, I simply entered “at the normal age of development” on all three forms.  Then I had to explain how our trio of tots differ – after all, they are identical and the school needs a few hints for telling them apart.  Think about that for a minute – I have to create copious notes for anyone who interacts with our three little fellas… teachers, babysitters, heck, even my own parents can’t tell them apart.  It’s not a breeze.

Perhaps most challenging for me the past few weeks has been writing our address on each of the zillion forms that have crossed the threshold – forms for Girl Scouts and soccer, for emergency contacts and basic medical information.  Each and every form requires our address. And each and every time I write it down I want to cry.  Why?  Because we are moving.  In just about six weeks.  Where? Once again, I honestly haven’t a clue.

We sold our house, which was the right thing to do.  We’ve outgrown it.  It has been the perfect “my first house” and now it’s time for the next one.  But where is it? I don’t know. And I’m worried. And scared. And totally freaked out.  I’ve tried to pack but I just can’t do it.  How can I pack if I don’t know where we are going? Will we find a house to rent and need to stick some stuff in storage? Will we find a house to buy and only live in limbo for a few weeks between close dates? Will we be flopping on the floors of friends and therefore only need our clothes? I don’t know. I just don’t know.  And that is why if I need to fill out one more freakin’ form with our current address – our home sweet home — I will, well, I suppose I will keep on keepin’ on. What other choice is there?  I will grin and bear it.  I will hope for the best.  I will try to have faith that it will all work out in the end.  And when it does, I just might share how it did in Tuesday Tip of the future.  Until then, stick with me and forgive me for the Wednesday Whine!

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Tuesday Tip: Simple Tips for Super Snacking

September 11th, 2012 | Posted by Kerry Lyons in Tips and Quips - (0 Comments)

 

Does this sound familiar? “You can’t have those snacks at home– those are ‘on the go’ snacks!”  Or perhaps you’ve said this once or twice?  “If you want a ‘fruit snack’, eat a piece of fruit!”  These frequent exchanges highlight the two main mistakes I’ve made since our kids have become serial snackers:

  1. I fell victim to those cute, convenient and exorbitantly priced single serve packages of pretty much everything.  Raisins. Applesauce. Goldfish. You name it.  If it seemed relatively healthy, came in a handy “snack pack” and was sold at Costco, I bought it.
  2. “Fruit Snacks.”  Why they don’t call these gummy bears or gummy “fruits”,  I’ll never know.  But, suffice it to say, if you read the label, these so-called fruit snacks are far more sugar and far less fruit.  And really, with a just a pint-sized handful per serving, they are not filling anyone up!  I don’t care if they are made by Welch’s or Mott’s or even organic Annie’s, they are junk.

There. I said it.  I have bought a lot of junk.  And I wish I hadn’t because old habits die hard.  Even with kids who are only 3, 5 and 7!  This junk is also very expensive — far too expensive to continue buying for the long run when you have to dole out the snacks five at a time!

So, what’s a mom to do?  Well, for starters, learn from my mistakes…

  • Avoid those clever, convenient prepackaged snacks and buy in bulk instead.  Get that super-sized bag of Goldfish or raisins at Costco or and divvy it up in small containers each day.  I’m a big fan of the Take and Toss cups that come in two sizes – one that’s just right for tiny tots and one that will be perfect for your budding scholar.  If you want something less plastic and more permanent, I have friends who give rave reviews to Glass Lock containers, which have fun, bright lids in several colors to brighten up both lunch boxes and dreary days!
  • Pack a real fruit snack. As in a piece of actual fruit.  We’ve had success with bananas, apples, blueberries, strawberries and grapes – even though last year when my only little lady was in kindergarten, she wrote me a note I’ll never forget: “Mom.  Don’t pak gren grapz. I like red onz. But I stil love you.”

So, there you have it –  written proof that your kids will love you even if you eliminate fake fruit snacks!  Here is a more complete list of our standards to keep our pack of snackers happy… and ideally, healthy too!

  • Goldfish, pretzels, Ritz crackers, Wheat Thins
  • Graham crackers, Teddy Grahams and even the occasional Oreo (we all need a treat sometimes!)
  • Carrots, cucumber, pepper slices served with a side of hummus
  • Sliced apples, kiwi, clementines, oranges, bananas, grapes, strawberries, blueberries, watermelon, cantaloupe, pineapple
  • Raisins and other dried fruit: apricots, cherries, cranberries, mango, etc.
  • Cereal bars – our favorites come from Kellogg’s (and are available at Costco and other “big box” stores) or Trader Joe’s
  • Yogurt.  Note that this says Yogurt. Not Gogurt. I’ve had to boycott Gogurt ever since they introduced the Sponge Bob version that glows in the dark.  My kids can be hard enough to handle in the dark – the last thing I need is their bellies to glow!

One last tip — buy on sale and buy in bulk.  Our go-to stops for snack supplies include Costco, Target, Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods.  Happy Snacking!

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41 and an adult at last

September 6th, 2012 | Posted by Kerry Lyons in MaMa Moments | parenting - (2 Comments)

Here is the post I wrote on the eve of my 41st birthday.  An evening when I was feeling a bit down and out.  Today, the day after, the day I am 41+, I am feeling just fine. Why? Because of my amazing family and friends and the keen realization that whatever lies ahead, they will be there.  To understand my trepidation about what lies ahead, read on…

Tomorrow I will be 41. It feels so anticlimactic as compared to 40.  When I turned 40, I anticipated an “event.”  And indeed, I got one.  First there was a fancy dinner in the city – a great date that included a moonlit walk over the Brooklyn Bridge.  And then, a week later, just as I thought the notion of being surprised had passed me by, there was a party in the park, complete with our kids, family, friends and lots of cake and balloons.

I was pleased as punch and felt more like a 40 year old child than a middle aged adult.  I still do.  In fact, my own husband remarked just the other day that I was behaving like a child. And not in a good way.

I get cranky when I get tired. I get really cranky when I get hungry.  I get pissy when I don’t get my own way. Which is often, as it is for all parents. The needs of five kids seven and under simply must come first.

Even so, I still like birthday cake and presents. And parties.  I also like puppies and kittens and trips to the zoo.  And the aquarium.  Oh how I love a good aquarium!  I like sprinkles on ice cream and milk with cookies.  Sunshine makes me happy although, despite many a bad burn, I still hate to put on sunblock.

My childlike tendencies go on and on.  I believe people are good.  A small part of me still believes in Santa Claus.  I love Christmas, just like I love birthdays. But somehow, this birthday is different.

It’s not just my birthday.  It is my oldest son’s first day of third grade and the day our only daughter will become a first grader. It is a monumental day in their lives.  And that makes the fact that I am turning yet another year older seem pretty insignificant. Forty one. Big whoop.

As the date of my birth gets closer by the minute, it occurs to me that I am no longer that 40 year-old child.  I have great angst about the choices and changes that loom ahead.  As the kids start a new year in school, we are faced with momentous, life-changing decisions.  Do we sell our charming “my first house” or stay put a few more years? Do we move to a new neighborhood in pursuit of more space to stretch out or stay put because it is comfortable and easy and, well, practically perfect in every way?  What about childcare?  Our triplets are starting pre-school and their needs are changing. But what to do about it? Where is the guidebook? And what if all this change isn’t for the better?!

These are the questions that keep me up at night on the eve of my birthday. Before a new day dawns.  A day of new beginnings.  A day filled with the promise of a new school year and freshly sharpened pencils. A day filled with questions.  Big questions. And worries.  Big worries. And fear.  Fear of the changes ahead and the decisions we have to make.  A day that I still hope will bring birthday cake. And, with a bit of luck, wishes that will come true.  A day that is my birthday. But is certainly not all about me. A day that I think I am last ready to admit I am an adult. A 41 year old adult.  Hopefully, in a good way.

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Tuesday Tip: Tell the Truth

August 29th, 2012 | Posted by Kerry Lyons in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)

Last weekend, I realized once again how important it is to always tell the truth. And to teach our kids to do the same.

The trouble began on Saturday morning.  I put a dozen eggs on the counter and when I emerged from the bathroom, a  dozen eggs were smashed on the floor.  Want to know the truth?  I freaked out. I yelled and demanded to know whodunit.  And then, much to my surprise, a little voice said “Sorry Ma, it was an accident.”  And I smiled and thought smug thoughts about what a swell job we’re doing raising honest kids who take responsibility for their actions.  And then Sunday morning happened.

This time I was actually scrambling a dozen eggs (yes, we buy a LOT of eggs!) when I heard a howl from above.  I ran upstairs to discover one sad little boy whose WaWa (our endearing term for a lovely blanket), pillow, bed and wall had been slathered in A&D Ointment.  Are you familiar with A&D Ointment?  It has a distinctly medicinal scent and the consistency of Vaseline. And it was everywhere. And I was pissed.  So I yelled again.  I really yelled.

“WHO DID THIS?!” I shrieked. And four sets of unblinking eyes looked back at me in defiance, each seeming to say, “Not me.” “You’ll never know.” Or “you’d like to know, wouldn’t you?”  They never fessed up.  So much for raising honest kids who take responsibility for their actions!  What to do?

I decided to tell them the truth.  To remind them how proud I’d been the day before when a guilty little fella fessed up.  And how disappointed I was that they didn’t.  I told them that I make mistakes.  Lots of them. Like yelling at them like a crazy woman.  I explained that nothing is more important than the truth.  I believe this.  And I hope my actions will teach them to believe it too.  So that one day, when our worries are larger than broken eggs or “ointment art”, they will confide in me.  Until then, I will try to yell less and just be grateful that everyone still wants to eat eggs together on the weekend!

Starting the day the tumbling way

August 24th, 2012 | Posted by Kerry Lyons in Laughter and Disaster | MaMa Moments | parenthood | triplets - (0 Comments)

What were you doing today at 7AM?  I had just gotten home from a run.  It was a hard run.  I was tired.  I thought that perhaps the kids would still be asleep and I could have a few quiet moments with my coffee on the porch to wake up — and armor up — for the day ahead.  I was wrong.  This is what was going on in our house at 7AM.  And, if you’re wondering where our fifth kid is, he had an early departure for a special day out with Dad.  Leaving me home alone with this:

 

 

I’m now on my third cup of coffee and I still don’t have the energy they have.  Which, I suppose, may not be such a bad thing… after all, I wouldn’t look nearly as cute bouncing off the walls and, it might be kind of inappropriate once I get to the office.  Wherever your day takes you, I hope it includes a bit of the energy and a lot of the joy that kids bring into our lives… even if they bring it a little earlier and a lot louder than we might hope for!

Tuesday Tip: Getting organized for back to school (and taming the paper beast!)

August 21st, 2012 | Posted by Kerry Lyons in parenting | Tips and Quips - (0 Comments)

It’s official.  I can no longer ignore the piles of backpack catalogs and back to school coupons that arrive daily to remind me that fall is right around the corner – a season where paper of all sorts enters our home more swiftly than the leaves fall from the trees.  There are class lists and calendars. Cafeteria menus and permission slips. “Artwork” and homework.  You get the idea.  But what to do with it all?  With a third-grader, first-grader and three pre-schoolers, I have to have a plan to tame the paper beast.  And I do.  And today I’m going to share it with you.

For starters, get yourself some basic supplies. This is the easy part.  Clip some of those coupons, go to your store of choice and get yourself:

  • A label maker
  • A desktop file organizer
  • File folders in various colors
  • A small storage box for each of your children (note: these can be made rather than bought but I’m not that crafty!)

With supplies in hand, give yourself an hour to:

  • Weed through any lingering remnants from the last school year — in my case, these included a birthday invitation we never RSVP’d to, an expired coupon to a local aquarium and a class list from when our third-grader was a preschooler… proving that I’m not always good at following my own advice!
  • Put that label maker to good use.  I create a folder for each child in addition to a few extras to corral the mail, menus and miscellaneous papers that arrive via mail, backpacks and, as far as I can tell, by carrier pigeon too!
  • Set up a “memory box” for each child – once you do this, you will (hopefully) reuse this box for years to come.  In our house, each kid has a box (neatly labeled with his or her name, of course!) and each year we cull through what we’ve collected, keeping only the most precious of memories – first handprints, first report cards, etc.  It’s important to recall the items that are NOT worthy of the memory box:  random scribbles, spelling tests (even if s/he gets 100!) and ceramics which will break before you even get the lid on.  I have several good friends who assure me that when our children are grown and we are gone, they won’t be looking for these lost treasures… and needless to say, neither will we!

The last piece of the process is no doubt the hardest – it’s making a lasting commitment to control the paper beast. To tackle it daily.  To keep only what is critical and to recycle or trash what’s not. To actually use your file folders and memory boxes.  To keep the paper beast under control — before it grows big and scary and requires a bonfire to tame it.  Although, if all else fails, a bonfire isn’t a bad idea… it is, after all, a sure (and welcome!) sign of Fall.

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Tuesday Tip: Capturing memories of your kids

August 15th, 2012 | Posted by Kerry Lyons in motherhood | parenthood | parenting | Tips and Quips - (4 Comments)

You may have noticed that this post has a new look to it.  That’s because I recently bid Blogger a fond farewell and officially made the move to WordPress.  I hope you’ll bear with me as I learn how to navigate this new platform, continue to pull my old content over here and ideally, get back into a groove of more routinely sharing my musings on motherhood — along with some weekly tips and quips that I hope you find helpful and at the very least, hope give you a chuckle!

I am often asked why I write this blog and, for that matter, why I write at all.  The short answer is I love to write.  That’s why I’m thrilled you can now find me on The Huffington Post, Moonfrye and Irish Central in addition to some occasional stints on Parents.com.  The long answer is that for me, writing is a great way to capture the memories as the days drag on but the years fly by.  It is my way of preserving the minor moments, major triumphs and everything in between.  With that in mind, my “tip” for this Tuesday, is to keep a journal and jot down the funny, crazy, endearing things your kids say.  It need not be fancy (a simple notebook will do) but it should always be handy (in your purse, on the counter, etc.).  And if it is, you too will soon have a collection of gems just like these — all of which our clan has proclaimed in the past few weeks…

  • Overheard from the back seat — and delivered with compelling confidence: “Don’t you know that reindeer don’t live in the rain?!  They live in the forest dummy!”
  • An exasperated cry emitted far too often from our only little lady: “Ma, ____ peed on me!  AGAIN!!!!!”  (Such is the hazard of one little girl sharing a bathroom with three three-year olds with bad aim!)
  • From an uninvited three-year observer as I got out of the shower: “Hey Ma, your boobs got bigger!”  “Really?!” I responded rather gaily. “Nope, they just got longer.”  And then my heart sank. Apparently just like my boobs.
  • At the vet as one inquisitive fella interrogated the owner of a guinea pig:  “What is that? Why is it in a towel? What does it eat? Hay? Hay isn’t food! Is he sick? What is his name? Where does he live? Why is it in a towel?”  This is just a small glimpse into a long and priceless interrogation that only ended when the vet mercifully appeared to care for this shell-shocked animal… and equally shell shocked owner!
  • An unfortunate observation from our 7 year old “Ma, are you having another baby? Your belly looks big!”  Short answer: no. Long answer: your belly would look big too if had held five children, the last three at once and with a birth weight of over 17 pounds! So there!
  • A poignant observation from that same 7 year old: “Why is that man asking for money? We should help him.”
  • And, perhaps my all time favorite thus far: “Wow Mom, I love that skirt! You look like a princess!”  So what if he’s only three?  I now wear that skirt every other day.  Well, almost…

Let me know if you have some personal faves — my understanding is that commenting should be a lot easier here than it was before.  With that in mind, I’d love to hear from you and hope that in addition to sharing the funny things your kids say, you’ll give me inspiration for other “Tuesday Tips!”

Tuesday Tip: Moving your child from a crib to a bed

July 10th, 2012 | Posted by lvollmer in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)

I’m pretty sure this picture was taken yesterday:

Newborn triplets: Kev, Dec and Mac snuggle up together   

But, it wasn’t.  As it turns out, this picture was taken over three and a half years ago, when Kevin, Declan and Cormac first came home from the hospital.  They were four days old.  They shared a crib.  For months.  And, in what feels like the blink of the eye, they now sleep here:

“Big Boy Beds” aka crib mattresses on floor!

They made the big move last weekend and I have to say, it was a long time coming.  Not in the literal sense — it’s not like I spent months prepping them for the big move, reading books about the transition or frankly, designing the ideal sleep space or investing in the perfect bedroom set (as the picture will clearly attest!). When I say it was “a long time coming”, I mean that our little fellas have been climbing out of their beds for a long time.  They have been asking for beds. They told us they were ready and finally, we listened.

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What I learned on my summer vacation

July 9th, 2012 | Posted by lvollmer in travel - (0 Comments)

We recently spent a glorious week on the beach.  Was it relaxing?  No.  But, given that we have five kids seven and under and were away with my parents, sister, brother-in-law, niece, nephew and aunt, relaxation was never one of my expectations.  And, neither were any of the following observations and insights that just happened along the way –  in the midst of lazy, hazy days filled with sand, sun and newly hatched freckles on our fair-skinned flock…

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